Ok today I am going to tackle yet another useless task of wedding planning.
Seating arrangements...Seriously? Why should I be able to tell you whom you can/cannot sit with?
We aren't even having a sit down dinner for fucks sake! People will only be in their chairs during the introductions, and toasts. Then I am sure they will meander around until they are intoxicated enough to dance in front of their family and peers.
I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I tell you it took me 8 and a half hours to finish mine!
It's not like I have a 300+ person guest list. Our final count is 151....
But none the less, I couldn't' get it straight.
Every time I configured, erased, and re-configured it, it just wouldn't add up.
How did I finish you ask? I completely neglected any ones opinion but my own. Why should I need to remember why Aunt Pat isn't talking to Cousin Lee? Really, who cares...if you're attending this wedding than you care about Kevin and I....So you would want to spare us the added stress by not caring who you sit with right?
WRONG...people had the balls to call me, text me, email me, and GASP, even write a little note on their response card to remind me of who they WOULD NOT sit near.
You know what I did...purposely sat them with those people. Maybe they will take that as a hint...
Or maybe they will be so royally pissed off that they will leave, after leaving a card full of money in the basket.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
How do I sleep...?
Ok. So I have resorted to taking Tylenol PM before bed.
Lets see how this works.
Normally I would go to bed around 10 pm when Kevin turns in and asks me to join him.
Even though most of the time I am not tired enough to sleep I can rarely say no when he tells me he needs me there to fall asleep. In that precise moment I feel immensely loved and I cave in and go to bed. I'll usually read and the pages turn rapidly but then I cannot recall what I read. Mostly because I frequently drift off and think of tasks to be completed for the wedding..
Gift bags for the attendants.
Seating chart.
Final head count
Payments to the florist, baker, and caterer.
The list goes on for miles...literally miles.
I have two weeks to go... like the song says..I will survive.
Its not the long to-do list, or the skyrocketing cost that is pissing me off. It is the people who are ruining this experience for Kevin and I.
We should be overwhelmed with happiness, but at the moment the sad truth of it is that we cannot wait for this day to come and go.
If you are planning a wedding, or plan on getting engaged, or married in the future...listen to me now.
Do not let anyone tell you what your day should be. Especially if you are paying for it as Kevin and I are.
Stick to your vision, and as long as you do that you will be happy. It is easy to get carried away in the flowers and frosting but remember at the end of the day the only thing you will remember is how he looked in his tux, and the grip of your fathers arm as he walked you down the isle.
No one will remember what color your bridesmaids dresses were, or if you had programs or not.
Do what you want, and if that means Las Vegas, your parents backyard, or the most expensive country club in the country...stick to it.
Lets see how this works.
Normally I would go to bed around 10 pm when Kevin turns in and asks me to join him.
Even though most of the time I am not tired enough to sleep I can rarely say no when he tells me he needs me there to fall asleep. In that precise moment I feel immensely loved and I cave in and go to bed. I'll usually read and the pages turn rapidly but then I cannot recall what I read. Mostly because I frequently drift off and think of tasks to be completed for the wedding..
Gift bags for the attendants.
Seating chart.
Final head count
Payments to the florist, baker, and caterer.
The list goes on for miles...literally miles.
I have two weeks to go... like the song says..I will survive.
Its not the long to-do list, or the skyrocketing cost that is pissing me off. It is the people who are ruining this experience for Kevin and I.
We should be overwhelmed with happiness, but at the moment the sad truth of it is that we cannot wait for this day to come and go.
If you are planning a wedding, or plan on getting engaged, or married in the future...listen to me now.
Do not let anyone tell you what your day should be. Especially if you are paying for it as Kevin and I are.
Stick to your vision, and as long as you do that you will be happy. It is easy to get carried away in the flowers and frosting but remember at the end of the day the only thing you will remember is how he looked in his tux, and the grip of your fathers arm as he walked you down the isle.
No one will remember what color your bridesmaids dresses were, or if you had programs or not.
Do what you want, and if that means Las Vegas, your parents backyard, or the most expensive country club in the country...stick to it.
T minus 2 minutes to meltdown...
My bachelorette party was Saturday.
The day started with two of my friends, Jamie and Erin spending the day on the beach with my sister Justine and I.
We had a cooler full of twisted teas, tanning oil, and sunshine... Besides the fact that my ex-husband was about 100 feet from us, the day was off to a fantastic start.
I don't remember who asked but at some point someone brought up the absence of my Maid of Honor...Kim.
I told them that she couldn't be with us during the day because she was having an inspection sticker put on her car but would meet up with us when we got back.
A conversation then started about Kim and her negativity as of late. My sister was the one to strike up the conversation. I aired some concerns about how uninterested in everything Kim was.
My bridal shower was a mess....weeks before the shower Kim and my mother got into an argument and dragged me in. I don't remember what it was about and I didn't care...I still don't care.
The shower was supposed to be the one aspect of the wedding that did not concern me and I didn't have to stress out about. Yet as the day loomed the only thought that was in my head was that I wanted to bail on the whole thing and not show up.
As soon as the presents were unwrapped and the cake cut...Kim and Justine took off...
They claimed that they needed to have the catering equipment back to the restaurant...but I later found out they were at a bar drinking.
I never spoke up. I never told either of them how awful it was for them to rush out on me like that, and how disappointed in the whole shower I was.
Everything was last minute. But I needed to remind myself that not everyone had the same attention to detail that I did and I couldn't take that out on them.
I'm getting off track.
Back to Saturday....After the beach the rest of the girls met at my apartment before heading into Boston for dinner, and dancing.
We had a room reserved at the Copley Marriot but when we got there , there was an issue with the cost of the reservation. It should have been 74$ but for some reason it was 150$.
Kim flatly REFUSED to give anymore money towards the room, so I was forced to call another girl in our party and ask if we could get ready there.
Being the Bad Ass Bitch she is...she readily agreed...
The entire night Kim was miserable...I wish I had a dollar for every time someone asked me what her problem was. I didn't know. A few girls from work that don't know Kim suggested that she was jealous of me...I don't see how that's possible.
...OK the point of my rant...
Yesterday I got a text message from Kim telling me that she was not going to be in the wedding and that she wanted nothing to do with me or my sister.
Apparently my sister Justine decided to call Kim and tell her that I was talking about her on Saturday ...FALSE.
And now two weeks before my nuptuals I want to crawl under a rock and hide.
Ok I lied...what I actually want to do is to tell my so called friend that in the entire 8 years of our friendship I have never once lied to her, or spoken ill of her behind her back. In the span of a year that Justine and Kim have gotten close, Justine has lied, cheated, and most recently stolen money from Kim.
I am a firm believer in track records preceding themselves.
So now I sit here blogging about my disintegrated friendship, because that is exactly what it is.
I have put up with negativity and been pushed around by Kim for long enough. If she in fact decides that she no longer wants to be a part of my wedding, she will also be making the decision to no longer be part of my life.
I hope she's prepared for the immense loss of my friendship.
A little background
Do you ever hear a song on the radio and it just hits you?
Tears stream silently down your cheek and spill onto your lap.
Alot of songs do this to me... but one that stands out from the rest is Van Morrisons "These Are The Days"
Sometimes when I am having a bad day, I'll put it on and picture this song playing in the backround in a montage of my life. In an ideal world this song would be my theme...a soundtrack of sorts.I sit quietly and watch the memories play out in my head...as if I were watching a movie.
The look on Kevins face when the kids were born.
The proudness on my face in photographs taken at their baptisms and birthday parties.
I see Kevin chasing them around the backyard with a squirt gun, or teaching Kaleb how to play golf, Tossing Bevy in the pool.
Beverly and I making cupcakes covered in frosting.
Kaleb getting on the school bus for the first time.
Bentley showing his little brother how to play a new game, or reading him a book.
Coming home from a late night at work and finding the kids and Kevin smushed in our bed...fast asleep.
These memories are a small handful of what gets me through the rough spots. Two and a half weeks from now Kevin and I will be married... After almost 9 years together and two children later. Finally.
It has been a rough road, and if someone less strong had been traveling this road of ours, they would have given up ages ago. But we haven't. Sure we split up SEVERAL times, but I think we both knew that this is where we ultimatly wanted to be...who we wanted to be ... what we wanted to be...husband & wife.
When you're planning a wedding people come out of the woodwork with advice. Don't listen.
They will tell you what they think the secret of a happy marriage is...Don't take it.
It's their secret, their trick. You need to come up with one of your own.
Our secret is a simple one...love.
If you love someone enough, anything they do you can forgive.And if they love you enough in return, they will never give you reason to need forgiveness.
Our relationship emboides this completely. Of course there are days where I am so angry I could walk away...but I could never walk away forever, and thats the important part.
If you love someone the way I love Kevin you would understand that he is part of who I am...like an added extension of my body. I am not whole without him.
Tears stream silently down your cheek and spill onto your lap.
Alot of songs do this to me... but one that stands out from the rest is Van Morrisons "These Are The Days"
Sometimes when I am having a bad day, I'll put it on and picture this song playing in the backround in a montage of my life. In an ideal world this song would be my theme...a soundtrack of sorts.I sit quietly and watch the memories play out in my head...as if I were watching a movie.
The look on Kevins face when the kids were born.
The proudness on my face in photographs taken at their baptisms and birthday parties.
I see Kevin chasing them around the backyard with a squirt gun, or teaching Kaleb how to play golf, Tossing Bevy in the pool.
Beverly and I making cupcakes covered in frosting.
Kaleb getting on the school bus for the first time.
Bentley showing his little brother how to play a new game, or reading him a book.
Coming home from a late night at work and finding the kids and Kevin smushed in our bed...fast asleep.
These memories are a small handful of what gets me through the rough spots. Two and a half weeks from now Kevin and I will be married... After almost 9 years together and two children later. Finally.
It has been a rough road, and if someone less strong had been traveling this road of ours, they would have given up ages ago. But we haven't. Sure we split up SEVERAL times, but I think we both knew that this is where we ultimatly wanted to be...who we wanted to be ... what we wanted to be...husband & wife.
When you're planning a wedding people come out of the woodwork with advice. Don't listen.
They will tell you what they think the secret of a happy marriage is...Don't take it.
It's their secret, their trick. You need to come up with one of your own.
Our secret is a simple one...love.
If you love someone enough, anything they do you can forgive.And if they love you enough in return, they will never give you reason to need forgiveness.
Our relationship emboides this completely. Of course there are days where I am so angry I could walk away...but I could never walk away forever, and thats the important part.
If you love someone the way I love Kevin you would understand that he is part of who I am...like an added extension of my body. I am not whole without him.
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